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x66taintedlove
28 December 2010 @ 01:24 pm


So today it started snowing, a blizzard nonetheless and i was fine with how everything was going i went to Starbucks for a bit when it first started snowing this morning. i was there for about 2 hours give or take. i had my ipad so i went on facebook there had some coffee. We left and came home went on my ipad at home got some wood from outside. I started to change my mind about hating he snow until just before when we lost power. Ohhhh now, do i ever despise the snow. Ohh to make matters worse we have no heat because we ran out of oil. Lovely right? my iPad isnt charged i currently have 26% battery left and i cant charge it due to no power which also means no wi-fi. Whats the point in getting apps for a iPad if you need internet to run half of them i dont understand that. My brothers being a doucher cause he took my lighter and i know he did cause it was on the table and i saw him take it beore. But no instead of admitting hes wrong (god forbid) he had to argue with me and deny it. I mean a lighthers a lighter but he takes my shit all the time and he bothers my friends all the time so im not gonna let him have his way. I said some really mean stuff to him that i regret saying now. I was gonna go apologize but he decided to take my dads car even though theres a foot of snow outside. I'd like to say if he gets in a accident that i dont care cause he deserved it but saying stuff like that wont make me a better person. Sometimes i wish i remembered that before i say things that i regret later on. Maybe i should go to a boot camp someone needs to set my ass straight. I cant be like this the rest of my life its just gonna push people farther away from me. Ive hurt so many people with things i have said including my mother. I wish i could take back telling her i hope she dies when she had cancer. I guess people were right when they said "be careful what you wish for cause it just might come true." I hurt her so much when i said that to her. It will forever haunt me and even though im not religous i still think i will go to hell for it. Granted i know she knew i loved her because i truly do believe that no matter what anyone says theres alway gonna be a part of you that has love for your mother. Its true when people say "you never truly appreciate someone/something till its gone." I never appreciated my mother but you know what if it was'nt for her or my dad i wouldnt even be alive. I should of appreciated my mother the most shes the one who went through hell for nine months and took care of me not just went i was in her belly but for the 19 years after i was born. I still love her i always will i know she knows that because sometimes i wonder if shes the reason i'm still alive after so many things i've gone through. Like shes the guardian angel making sure i get through each day no matter how hard it is. After looking at the stuff i HAVE been through i always make sure i tell myself that sure life does have its ups and downs but you know wanna know something about life: it goes on. And not only that but my life isnt half as bad as other people across the world. I could be dirt poor with no roof over my head but im not. So that brings me back to "appreciate what you have" and that "the past is the past, the future is unknown, and the present is just that a gift given every day."


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x66taintedlove
18 February 2009 @ 06:18 pm
.Friends Only.

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FUCK OFF.

HOW BOUT THAT FOR  HONESTY!!! xD